Jealousy

Recently, I get jealous and envy very fast.
Its like the feeling is inside of me.
I hate that feeling.
It spoils me, you know.
I don't know if this feeling is good or not.
I just hate it.
Because of that jealousy, I get a little more competetive than I already am.
I can't stand this jealosy.
Stupid jealousy.
I feel like crying, but I laugh instead.
I feel like screaming, but I cry instead.
When the jealousy comes, I don't feel any joy.
I don't want to think.
I feel like I want to know more.
Because sometimes, this feeling makes me curious.
About what, I'm just not sure.
Somehow, sometimes, I feel great about this feeling.
It makes me feel alive.
I don't know what I want.
Okay?

Bye