NEW WAY OF LIFE

Once, studying always comes 2nd, but not since I've became a 15-year-old girl.
Once, having fun is the most important thing in my life but not since this year.
I don't even know whats happening to me.

I believe that 90% of the people we knew actually hates us. I believe its happening to me.
& I also believe that I don't hate anyone that I knew.

This new year is making me very confuse.
What should comes first in my life, what is the best thing for me.

.......................................................................................................................idk**

P/S : HAPPY NEW YEAR ! :D

Own Goods

So, my dad gave me rewards for my hard work this year so that I'll work harder next year for PMR. Those rewards would absolutely cure the pain in my heart. I'm really craving for these:

these awesome sneakers!

**yes I already had tones of them, but these cuties would defenitely make my day.

Polo T's

**suprisingly, I don't have any. I have lots of clothes, but none of these.

Slouch Hat

**I just want one. **winkwink

Yes there are all just simple items. Well, I just think that I already had everything I needed & these stuff are the only thing that I didn't have right now. Hee ;)

Yuna - Missing Star

I can’t never really tell you
Why i’ve been missing you a lot
And i just have to take another look
Of your photo in my wallet

And there’s no reason why
I keep your t-shirt by my side when i sleep
Return when you really gone

It’s like a missing star
That’s always been up in your sky
It’s like the rainbow never comes after the rain
It’s like the sun never rises in every of your mornings
How am i supposed to live without those things
There are all you

The Big Thing

Today, 16th Dec 2010 ~
i do not know whats wrong with me lately till the worse thing happened to me. I FORGOT MY OWN ANNIVERSARY. i had a fight with him earlier yesterday. it didn't even pop out of my head that its going to be 16th after that.  sigh .......

i appologised so many times. i didn't know what to do. but then it turned out fine. after that i told him that i wanted to change. i told him so much, too much i guess.

i want him to let me be just like any other girl. i want him to overcome his jealousy. i decided that i will keep my words that i will be myself just slightly different. at first he said its okay. but then i called him & he said he can't accept me & my decision. it really broke my heart. but i didn't know if should cry or not.

but then i started to think, i can't live with his jealousy all the time & he cant live with my way of life. then what's next? the word "love" that he use to say, did he really mean it? & do i really love him like i did before? somehow, i had to find the answer myself......

** earlier, i watched this new drama "keabadian cinta". it was a very loving story. there was one scene where this makcik told cheryl samad "kalau cinta, apa pun masalah dapat diselesaikan". && there's also this one scene where a deaf guy learn brailles just to wrote a letter for a blind girl. & on that letter it says "cinta tak perlu mata, mulut ataupun telinga. cinta cuma perlukan hati". i was very touched.

until now, i cant figure out the answers for all the questions i've been asking to myself. huh...........................
i can be very "jiwang" sometimes. hahahahaha. idk, should i really let him go just like that? do i want to? ofcourse you dont answer for me but idk. i feel very very confuse & heartless right now. i could just hope that the All-Mighty Allah s.w.t would just give me some faith. i'm little girl but i got big things to think about because maybe i'm not like any other 14-year-old girl. HAHAH

~ well, just let fate decide