Today, 16th Dec 2010 ~
i do not know whats wrong with me lately till the worse thing happened to me. I FORGOT MY OWN ANNIVERSARY. i had a fight with him earlier yesterday. it didn't even pop out of my head that its going to be 16th after that. sigh .......
i appologised so many times. i didn't know what to do. but then it turned out fine. after that i told him that i wanted to change. i told him so much, too much i guess.
i want him to let me be just like any other girl. i want him to overcome his jealousy. i decided that i will keep my words that i will be myself just slightly different. at first he said its okay. but then i called him & he said he can't accept me & my decision. it really broke my heart. but i didn't know if should cry or not.
but then i started to think, i can't live with his jealousy all the time & he cant live with my way of life. then what's next? the word "love" that he use to say, did he really mean it? & do i really love him like i did before? somehow, i had to find the answer myself......
** earlier, i watched this new drama "keabadian cinta". it was a very loving story. there was one scene where this makcik told cheryl samad "kalau cinta, apa pun masalah dapat diselesaikan". && there's also this one scene where a deaf guy learn brailles just to wrote a letter for a blind girl. & on that letter it says "cinta tak perlu mata, mulut ataupun telinga. cinta cuma perlukan hati". i was very touched.
until now, i cant figure out the answers for all the questions i've been asking to myself. huh...........................
i can be very "jiwang" sometimes. hahahahaha. idk, should i really let him go just like that? do i want to? ofcourse you dont answer for me but idk. i feel very very confuse & heartless right now. i could just hope that the All-Mighty Allah s.w.t would just give me some faith. i'm little girl but i got big things to think about because maybe i'm not like any other 14-year-old girl. HAHAH
~ well, just let fate decide
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